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Flashback's Arival by *TransFlashbacks:iconTransFlashbacks:



The shadow was an impressive sight as it looked around the huge plain. She was waiting for something. What it was, she couldn’t have said, but she would stand there as long as she needed to. “Where is he?” She muttered, shifting the cannons on her arms, her good eye bright with impatience.

She had been standing there for what felt like ages, even for her. She’d sent the signal that she was here at least five times, with no response. Her head jerked upwards at the sound of an engine. A yellow Camaro was driving up, but it slowed cautiously.

The figure raised watched it with a narrowed optic. The other was destroyed completely, with a long scar running through it like a sword blade’s mark. She stood tall, displaying the Autobot symbol on her chest proudly and clearly.

“State your name!” She called in a voice that resonated despite being female. The Camaro seemed to relax on its wheels a bit, and stopped about forty feet from the femme, a respectful and slightly weary distance.

The Camaro transformed into a small, bright yellow Autobot. “Bumblebee! Optimus Prime sent me to come and take you back to the base.” He sounded startled and out of breath as his vents gasped in air.

The larger figure realized that this was a youngling. An older youngling, but still a youngling. Her face softened slightly. “Bumblebee, then. You can call me Flashback. That’s what most Autobots do.” She said, examining at her left arm cannon casually. Bumblebee had a pretty good idea what those cannons could do.

“I seriously thought that you were Ironhide for an instant back there.” Bumblebee panted, still staring, wide-eyed at the largest and only femme that he’d ever seen.

“I get that more than you’d think. So, is the old rust-bucket still around?” Flashback asked, glancing at Bumblebee.

The yellow bot nodded. “Yea. He was one of my main care-takers.” He said, still breathing hard.

Flashback nodded. “Thought so. He’s too stubborn to roll over and die for anyone.” Finally, she looked interested in the youngling. “So, The rumors are true, huh?” She asked, examining him.

Bumblebee frowned. “What do you mean?”

“That there is another youngling. Interesting.” Flashback murmured, then shrugged. “What ever. I have vital information for Prime.” She said, straightening.

Bumblebee still looked a bit hesitant. He’d always imagined that femmes would be small and nice and thin; this one wasn’t much of any of those categories. “Right… Um…”

Flashback narrowed her good optic. “Is there a problem?” She asked, folding her arms. She wasn’t anymore used to having her orders disobeyed than Decepticons were to getting hugs.
©2008-2009 *TransFlashbacks
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Submitted: April 20, 2008
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Author's Comments

This is an old fan fiction that I finally got around to posting. Not really very good. Part two coming along soon... critique please.

Transfomers don't belong to me, and neither do Sam, Michaela or any other movie characters that I use in this...

Flashback is my own fan character. I sincerely hope that no other transformer has already been made with that name...
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Comments


I actually read this after Chapter 2, and found it to be quite good ( with the exception of a few typos.) :)

--
"You have to put up with a lot of irritants when you're trying to make pearls". ;)
Thanks! Ya, typos are my weakness...

--
"Name's Aahz."
"Oz?"
"No relation."
~Myth Adventures, Volume One
Not bad, not bad at all. :D I'll keep reading.

--
"Toughies are always the hardest ones eh?"
- ~HairyGoggles
thanks!

--
"Name's Aahz."
"Oz?"
"No relation."
~Myth Adventures, Volume One
Okay, so, I'm going to read this story in depth. I've skimmed up to ch. 11 and I'm really liking what you've done. Each chapter definitely deserves a comment. It might take me awhile to get to each one, but you've peaked my interest, so, I'll be back around.

"The shadow was an impressive sight as it looked around the huge plain."
From the get go, with this first sentence, I'm drawn in.

"She had been standing there for what felt like ages, even for her. She’d sent the signal that she was here at least five times, with no response."
HAHAHA! I laughed at these sentences. I can only imagine a million-some-odd-year-old being getting impatient. You convey this nicely.

"The figure raised watched it with a narrowed optic. The other was destroyed completely, with a long scar running through it like a sword blade’s mark."
I had to read this a couple of times to understand. I wasn't realizing, upon first glance, that the other optic is what is destroyed completely. There is a simple grammatical error in this first sentence that, which correction, will clear the entire thing up. You could change it to:
"The figure raised, watching it with a narrowed optic."

Good lawd, poor Flashback has been through some Pit, hasn't she? I am very intrigued by her scarring and injuries and her similarity to Ironhide is uncanny. Bumblebee even thought she WAS Ironhide! LOL! Her interest in knowing about Ironhide's well-being shows me that she knows him. I'm curious to know their relation. It was, at this point, that I was concerned that this femme was his Sparkmate. I even had to read ahead a bit to see if you were going to go with that. I must admit, you would have lost me if she was Ironhide's Sparkmate. That would have had me forgetting this story quicker than I coul read the title. I was genuinely relieved that you show that Chromia is Ironhide's Sparkmate. Then, my interest in who Flashback is and what she means to Ironhide spiked:) I stopped reading ahead, lest I ruin the revelation that I am hoping is going to be in this story. I still do not know their full relation, but that it seems that there is one. Giddy little laugh now, as this story grows on me more and more:)

I like her and Bumblebee's reactions to each other, and Bumblebee's inner thoughts of her appearance are very well placed. You write their interaction quite well.

Your descriptions of Flashback and the imagery here is very good.

"She wasn’t anymore used to having her orders disobeyed than Decepticons were to getting hugs."
What a great ending line! LOL! Decepticons getting hugs?! That perfectly shows me just how promptly her orders are usually obeyed. I love it!

I can't say, 'keep up the good work,' because, well, looks like the entire story is already done. I can say, that, if your writing and the story is this good throughout, then I am going to be thoroughly impressed with this fic. You have made a great start here. There is a mystery to Flashback that has me wanting to read more. Very good!
Lol this made my day! :hug: thanks!
Flashback's been through Pit and back like twice, actually. I've made her past very confusing.
ya, Decepticons plus hugs idea came to me randomly while watching a tf animated episode. Dunno why.

--
"Name's Aahz."
"Oz?"
"No relation."
~Myth Adventures, Volume One

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